Life of Kika Collage

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Explanation on my HIATUS: If people even care.


I haven't really been spending time to upkeep this blog. Well than again, no one reads this so this is not a big deal. For the losers reading my shit, I have been on hiatus for a weeks. This is nothing crucial, but I like to post on a daily basis. It makes me feel important.
 
I rarely ever put up any pics of me, but I've been experimenting with makeup for my Halloween costume as a Zombie Brooke Candy and I ended up looking like a Monster High doll *WIN*
 
The next day after Halloween I'll post up my final looks. I hope I turn it out this year...
 

In other news, I have been busy the past few weeks working on social media for my job. So the only form of entertainment I did for myself at work was to scroll through the tumblr dashboard and weep over my boring slow-paced life.

 
In other news, I'm returning back to FIT next Fall so I have also been in preparation of a new portfolio as well as upcoming editorials previewing my garments. I sound oh-so exciting when in actuality, everything is coming together at such a slow pace.

 
Halloween is in just a few days and I have yet to complete my whole costume. In order for me to look like Brooke Candy, I need those Honky Braids!

 
I'm still doing Real Estate as a side job which is why half of my life is focused on Open Houses and selling homes. It's like I'm becoming my mother as I get older.


I feel more anxious about actually doing work as a designer. I took a one year break after graduating college and I haven't done much with my degree other than sew for a few clients and do a few photo shoots. I feel like I have nothing to brag about when I go back to school.

 
And than I get panic attacks about how I should pursue Fashion even though it's a major risk to even try to get a real job in that industry.

 
I start to act weird. I don't feel like myself.

 
There's the occasional self deprecating use of drugs and alcohol to make me feel fine about life.
 
 
But some days, I feel fabulous about myself with out forcing confidence.

 
If only I could be a wreck that gets away with everything in life.

 
I'm suffering with White Woman Problems.


And I'm counting the days of regulation so I won't become one of the young moms who forgot about their careers.


Ah. I feel fine.

 
I do whatever I can to get a good night rest to sleep my troubles away.

 
But I just feel LOST.



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