Life of Kika Collage

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Life Lessons from a 20 Something Year Old: What Happens After College

Not everything you achieve in life is by doing everything that you are told to do. I feel like in the education system, students were taught to obey and disregard making their own decisions. Even in college, the curriculum or syllabus (Whatever bullshit terminology) had to be followed through out the entire semester. And all the hard work that we put into impressing our professors is far from substantial because we all look like ants to them. Everyone shares the same values and goals, and it's crazy how people see one another as competition. For crying out loud, we are all learning the same thing! Don't get me wrong, I earned a lot of experience, met a lot of wonderful people, but there is that bitter sweet reality that hits me everyday: That we were all taught to feel like we were never good enough.

I have a feeling that after College is like this untreated scab that hasn't been disinfected and continues to fester with puss and irritates you till you've had enough.

The negative and maybe uncomfortable moments I have faced in college have definitely effected my momentum as a designer. Somehow I managed to pick myself back up and try to focus on new projects while balancing a full time job and social life.
 Maybe I'm feeling moody. Maybe I've come to realize that after all the work I put in college, it's never enough. And quite frankly it's both a liberating yet disappointing feeling.

There are days I feel motivated to prove my own worth and sew old garments from college and give them makeovers. And I even start sketching for new collections. And I schedule photo-shoots for upcoming editorials. I feel alive and I feel complete in that moment. It's like the pressure of fulfilling these stressful tasks have been pushed off of me and I can finally be the person I strived to be in school.

And unfortunately, the people from college from facebook make me feel like I haven't done anything with myself. People from the internet have the tendency to flaunt and brag about their achievements so effortlessly. From my point of view, it's like they all have it figured out. I feel jealousy and hate for those who actually started a fashion line after college, who have gained some sort of recognition and following...And than there is me.

I know a lot of people my age who don't feel like they have reached their potential and maybe their self doubt prevented them from changing their decisions in life to do more for themselves.

I entered college with an ego too big to carry and I left college with a loathing feeling that the world turned against me, like I wasn't chosen to follow my path.

It's been a while since I posted on this blog and maybe I'm not making any sense, but no one reads this, so I could give two shits now.

No comments:

Post a Comment